


We Must Choose (Our Own Ending)

by xcourtney_chaoticx



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canonical Character Death, Family Feels, Gen, Platonic Relationships, talking about death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 06:52:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18493660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcourtney_chaoticx/pseuds/xcourtney_chaoticx
Summary: Pharaoh Atem was so young when he locked his soul away, unsure if that's what would actually happen or if he would simply outright die. What was he going through? How did he decide on his course of action? How did his closest (and only remaining) companion deal with the loss of his king and his gaining a crown?





	We Must Choose (Our Own Ending)

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea for this fic for a while, but then I listened to a recent episode of the podcast 'Death in the Afternoon' from The Order of the Good Death. The title was 'The Least Worst Death', and it was largely about two events: 9/11 and the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire. Both of these events involved multistory buildings engulfed in flames, and with no other way out, many people had to decide how they wanted to die. They had to make that choice, that final choice of what their least worst death would be and carry it out.
> 
> That is what Atem had to do, decide what his least worst death would be and carry it out. At its heart, that's what this fic is about, Atem and Seto dealing with the fallout of knowing Atem will not come back.

_ It isn’t fair. _ Atem looks out over the kingdom of Kemet, his kingdom.  _ Not for much longer.  _ Tears sting at his eyes. This isn’t fair. He can feel Priest Seto’s eyes on him, watching, waiting, wanting him to have an answer, but he doesn’t. He’s out of  _ good _ answers, and he’s certain that Seto isn’t going to like the only one he has left. The darkness of Zorc Necrophades threatens to overtake the entire kingdom, the palace currently the last bastion of light.

The darkness has made it cold. Atem shivers, his linen garments little protection against the newfound chill. He thinks longingly of his woolen cloak, but there is no time to retrieve it from his bedchamber. At least thinking of the cloak gives him a moment to think about something mundane. It’s only for a moment.

“My Pharaoh,” Seto says quietly, “Please… we must keep fighting.”

“There is no point to fighting anymore,” Atem replies, his voice brittle and rough, “Fighting hasn’t worked.”

“We cannot simply give up-”

“I do not intend to simply give up, Seto… but we cannot keep fighting the way we have been. It doesn’t work. I will not give up, but I will also not sacrifice you needlessly in a futile battle. I cannot lose-”

His voice chokes off, tears breaking free and rolling down his cheeks. Everyone is gone. His friends and protectors have all died, sacrificing themselves for him and for Kemet. If Seto were to die too, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.  _ I will not be able to live much longer anyway, not with this final plan I have. _ He knows Seto will be angry and unhappy... but at least he will be alive.

Seto calls him again, his proper name this time, and Atem turns to look at him, tears and all. The priest is crying, too. They’ve lost so much in such a short time. They have lost friends and companions and family, and it just is not  _ fair _ . Atem is but sixteen, barely a man, and he has already had to shoulder so much responsibility. He took care of his father in his final illness and then helped with the funeral and then took on the crown of Pharaoh. Seto is not much older. Now, the whole kingdom is under attack, and the enemy cannot be defeated with arrows or swords or even  _ ka _ monsters.  _ Not just Kemet is in danger… the whole world could fall under this evil. _ Atem cannot let that happen.

“Seto… I wish there was another way,” he tells him quietly, emotions threatening to take him over once more, “I wish I could think of another way to defeat this evil.”

For a moment, Seto just looks at him, tears still rolling slowly down his cheeks. Atem sees the realization hit him, sees his expression change and his eyes widen.

“Atem, no!” he gasps, falls to his knees, pleads, “Please, my Pharaoh, no! You can’t!”

“There’s no other way. I’ve been trying to think of one, but I can’t. We’ve already lost so much, Seto-”

“And you would have me be the only one left! You would leave me alone!”

“I would leave you alive!”

Atem kneels in front of Seto, taking his hands, and continues, “I would leave you alive as Pharaoh of Kemet-”

“I do not wish to be a pharaoh-”

“Please… I know it will be difficult, but I know you are capable of handling it. Even if you were not the only one left, I would still leave the kingdom in your hands. You have never done me wrong, and you will lead this kingdom and its people to prosperity after this devastation. You will heal these wounds.”

“I beg of you,” Seto says, his voice trembling now, heavy with grief, “Take me with you… Choose another to lead and take me with you to defeat this evil.”

Atem’s own voice is a whisper now, “My dear friend… I cannot. Believe me, Seto, I would give anything to have you by my side at the end, but I must go alone. I do not know what will become of my soul, and I refuse to bring you to the same uncertain fate.”

The idea that Atem’s soul may not find rest seems to only upset Seto more, his expression crumpling under the weight of his grief. Atem takes one of his hands away from Seto’s, brings it up slowly, rests it on Seto’s cheek. Seto leans into the touch, beginning to cry in earnest now. Atem knows what he is asking.  _ You will be the one left behind, the only one who will know the true story… and you will be unable to tell anyone. _ Were Atem in his position, he would likely be putting up the same fight. Swallowing his own sadness, he speaks again.

“Seto, I know what I am asking of you is beyond difficult, but I beg you… fulfill my last request-” he tries to ignore the low whine from Seto’s throat, “-and help me defeat this evil… hear my final orders.”

His thumb strokes over a high cheekbone, wiping away tears, and Seto finally reins in his emotions, meeting Atem’s eyes. Atem explains, “I’m going to use a spell, a powerful one, one that uses the deepest form of magic we know: my own name. I will seal away the evil of Zorc Necrophades… but in doing so, I will likely end up sealed away, as well. Because my name is the only thing keeping this great evil locked away-... it will need to be erased-”

Seto’s eyes widen in horror, and he exclaims, “No! No, you cannot ask me to do that to you-”

“I can. I am. Seto, please, you must do this. I will lock both our spirits in the Millennium Pendant, and then the Pendant must be destroyed-”

“Pharaoh… Atem, I- I can’t. I can’t leave your soul without peace.”

“Perhaps I will find peace one day… but there will be no peace for anyone if Zorc is not defeated. I must do this, and if it is your desire to help, then this is how you must do it,” Atem says, adds, “Knowing I have you here to carry out my wishes will bring me peace.”

He hopes that will sway Seto and ease his sadness slightly. It doesn’t seem to work. Seto’s tears still flow as he asks, “Is there no other way?”

“No… I don’t believe there is.”

It’s almost absurd that he has to choose not only his own death but the deaths of his people. Is everyone to die drowning in darkness, swallowed up by evil? Will he give his people the chance to live, to love, to have families? Why does this decision fall on his head? Why does he, Atem, still almost a boy, have to choose the manner of his own death and the fate of his kingdom? There’s a screaming in his mind, a warning, something begging him to stop. He doesn’t want to be swallowed by this darkness, either. He doesn’t want to die… or worse. His emotions rise up like a wave again, and knowing he is safe here with his friend and cousin, Atem admits brokenly, “I’m afraid, Seto-”

And he cries. He finally cries, letting out every sad and grief-ridden emotion he’s felt since his father died. He hasn’t had time to mourn anyone or anything, and it feels right to let it out before he dies. He doesn’t want to seal away an angry spirit lest he become like Bakura. He wants his soul to be as at peace as it can be, knowing he made the right choice. Seto pulls him in, cradling him in his arms as he cries, and he can hear Seto crying, too. No longer a king and his high priest, they’re two boys, both shivering with cold weighed down with grief, finding comfort in one another one last time.

It hurts. It feels beautiful. It’s a scene poets would write about and bards would sing of for centuries to come if anyone else were around to see it. 

But there is no one else. Only Atem and Seto remain in the main palace, all the servants and courtiers sent away somewhere safe. In a desperate final fit, Atem pulls back from Seto’s embrace, rips off his headdress and Seto’s, and presses their foreheads together. He needs this moment of humanness, something to ground him, to make him feel real. Atem’s chest aches, crushed under the weight of his impending death.

“Seto…” he whimpers, “my friend… my blood. I wish I had known long ago that we were cousins. I wish we could have spent our childhoods together and then together have grown into men. Gods-... Seto, I wish none of this had happened in our time so we could have been family.”

“As do I, Atem… as do I…”

They remain there for a long moment, trying to forget the fearful darkness and Atem’s coming death, breathing together. A strange sort of peace begins to settle over Atem. His chest no longer feels like it’s being crushed. His tears begin to dry. The cold chill in his body begins to dissipate. His mind slowly quiets from screaming to calming whispers. He brings up his hands to cup Seto’s face and places a warm, gentle kiss on his forehead.

“The darkness is coming, and it must be stopped. You must let me go and defeat it, Seto,” Atem tells him softly, “If the light returns, you will know I was victorious, and you can retrieve my- the Millennium Pendant and get rid of it however you see fit. You are wise. I know you’ll find a solution.”

He pauses, still not wanting to leave but knowing he must, and then whispers, “Seto… my dear cousin… I love you.”

Fresh tears roll down Seto’s cheeks.

“And I love you, Atem, my friend… my cousin… my Pharaoh.”

He then presses a kiss to Atem’s forehead, returning the affectionate gesture, and continues, “I will fulfill your final wishes the best I can. I will ensure the safety of the kingdom of Kemet and its people. I will make sure the evil you seal away will never return.”

“Thank you.”

They share one last look, long and wishing and sad, both knowing what must now happen and desperately willing something to change so it won’t.

“Good-bye.”

Perhaps it is Atem who says it. Perhaps it is Seto. Perhaps they both say it. 

Perhaps it doesn’t matter.

Atem rises swiftly to his feet and leaves the palace, ready now to confront Zorc Necrophades and rid the world of his evil once and for all. That odd peace is back, washing over him like little waves in the Nile.  _ I have chosen this. I have chosen how I will defeat him… and I have chosen how I will die. _ It’s the last piece that is somehow now the most calming. He is not being killed. He is not letting himself die afraid in the dark. He will die fighting, to save his kingdom and his people and the world. There is peace in his choice. His posture straightens. He walks more forcefully.

This is his choice.

**Author's Note:**

> This is only my second published YuGiOh fic, so let me know what you think!
> 
> (especially let me know if you would like to see a short part two in which Seto buries Atem and tries to remember him as best he can)


End file.
